11 March 2014

Finding a gynecologist (from the perspective of a social media professional)

As I just started writing about my pregnancy, I have to flashback a little bit to tell you what happened in my first trimester.

This time, I will tell you about finding the right doctor, or what we normally call a gynecologist. When I lived in Europe,  I heard you don’t need a gynecologist in the first place. You’d need a midwife. And how to find a good midwife? Basically your GP will refer you to someone or give you a list of midwives; or sometime you can go to a website, type your postcode and find a midwife near you (along with reviews from people). So no biggie. I hardly heard any complaints about midwives in the Netherlands.

In Indonesia, it is totally different. Normally people would go to a gynecologist that is referred to them by relatives, friends or families. If you are lucky that your mom’s gynecologist is still around, you’d probably go to that one. Or you'd go to the one that all people would recommend. Sometimes, people would do anything just to get treated by a famous gynecologist, just because of the reputation. They would queue  for hours, wait for days, just to get enlisted in this particular gynecologist.

My search for a gynecologist was slightly different. In the past, I had a gynecologist, who treated my cyst. He is one of those doctors, who are very famous and the queue would last hours. Sometime I had to wait till midnight to be treated. So, I was looking for a plan B.

My plan B is to ask Mr. Google to show me gynecologists in the area of Surabaya, preferably near my house, who are good, recommended by people, and have good reputation both online and offline. It wasn't that hard to finally find one gynecologist, who stood out in the online realm. His name is Dr. Didi Dewanto.

I went to see him. I just knew it was the right doctor for me. And I decided that he’d be my gynecologist.
People found my decision, especially the way I came to my decision, very peculiar. Dr. Didi is not really famous in Surabaya. From all the people I spoke with and mentioned the name of my gynecologist, only one or two people knew or heard of him. When I told them how I came to choose this gynecologist, they were perplexed on why I trusted Mr. Google to make a decision.

So, here are some points that were part of my (and my husband’s) consideration:
  1. During my search on Google, his name came up in different new-mom/pregnancy/female forum. Some people said he was nice and patient. Other said that he was just the right gynecologist after they visited a few others. Another said he was very nice to talk to.
  2. There were two or three blog posts about him. Thus not only people would talk about him in different forum, but some really made an effort to write about him. I am a social media professional. This fact is really important. It means that customers are really happy and satisfied about the brand that they are willing to pass on words of mouth.
  3. One of the things people said about him is that you don’t need to queue for hours to be treated by him. Bingo! This is what I need. Also, his location is close to my house.
  4.  After I met him, he is what people say he is. All of the description and review about him that I found on Google really were true.
  5. He is very tech-savvy and very relaxed. These 2 traits are important! He is a tech-savvy with a Blackberry Messenger. Thus, if you have a strange stomachache, or you are not sure whether you can or cannot eat certain food, or if you found a slight of blood in your panty; he is just a BBM away. He is also very relaxed. He does not tell you what you cannot eat or do. Basically, I haven’t been a different person ever since I found out I was pregnant. I still exercise, I still eat anything (although for sure I said goodbye to alcoholic beverages), and I still drink coffee occasionally.
  6. Most importantly, the one thing that sealed my decision was that he is working in a hospital that supports breastfeeding.

So, I am still a happy patient of Dr. Didi Dewanto, which is due in 100 days! Hopefully his calm and kind character will get me through the labor. 

5 March 2014

Hiatus: between becoming a business woman or mother

It has been months since I last wrote anything or even posted anything on this blog. To be honest, I was on the verge of closing this blog, because I thought, "who care if I still write or not!". Then I thought, for the sake of my own sanity, I will keep this blog.

Let's quickly summarize my past months. Since the last time I wrote, my job has been pretty much the highlight of my life. It was very tiring, demanding, yet challenging and fun. But then, something happened, which quickly took over my life.

I was pregnant!

It was a big surprise for both Stefy and I, because we didn't expect that we could have a baby without any help. Quick background story, I had a reasonable size cyst in my ovary. My gynecolog used to say that I might have issues with fertility and will need to be treated if I want to get pregnant.

I believe the Almighty God definitely interfered with it, especially He definitely did interfere with my grand plan.

Career was something that I wanted to pursue. My current job is very demanding, but yet it has brought me to a level, which I didn’t expect I could reach this fast.

Travelling is my passion. Japan, going back to Europe, Vietnam, and many more were on my to-visit in 2014 list.

With the baby suddenly coming in the picture, I was speechless, clueless. There were a few weeks, maybe one or two months, when I was not sure what to feel. I was not happy, but I wouldn’t say that I was sad. If I must give a name to my feeling, shock is probably the most suitable term.

So that's a quick summary of what has happened in these past months. Right now, I am very happy to expect the coming of our son. I am currently 24 weeks pregnant and the due date is somewhere in June 2014. At the same time, I am still eager to pursue my career. Let's see what's gonna happen after the baby is born.

I ain't no superwoman, and I hate having a babysitter. So, right now, we are still trying to figure out what to do. But if I must give up my career momentarily just to be with my baby, I think I can make peace with this idea.

So, yeah, here I am! The next blog posts probably would be more about becoming a mom and our preparation to welcome the baby.

16 September 2013

Korban Gagal Move On

Sudah lebih dari 1 bulan semenjak saya mengunggah tulisan saya lagi di Facebook dan blog, atas dukungan Ega. Dan sudah lebih dari 1 bulan juga saya absen nulis. Well, janji tinggallah janji.

Tapi lebih baik terlambat daripada tidak sama sekali, right? Daripada kita off topic, mendingan saya ceritakan alasan saya tiba-tiba menghilang dr dunia socmed. Well, bukan menghilang, tp lay low. Tp ada temen yang sampek nyangka saya deactivate account gara-gara jarang eksis.

Sejak sebelum lebaran, saya diminta boss untuk bantuin mengecek budget marketing untuk tahun depan. Well, how hard can it be? Boss bilang saya disuruh ngecek semua angka match up dan itung2annya bener. Ok sip!

Ternyata job description 'membantu' itu sangat ambigu, sodara-sodara. Yang ada, saya ikut mengerjakan budget itu dan semua teori akuntansi yang pernah saya pelajari dalam hidup, harus dikeluarkan.

Sayangnya, saya hampir tidak pernah belajar akuntansi. Waktu SMA, saya selalu bolos atau bahasa kerennya dulu 'escape' pas kelas akuntansi! Entah alasan sakit, latihan paduan suara, meeting OSIS, atau apapun! Kalau ulangan, well saya hanya mengandalkan teman sebangku :p yes, guilty!

Waktu kuliah, saya sudah yakin benar bahwa di jurusan pilihan saya tidak ada pelajaran akuntansi. Yeah right, memang ngga ada akuntansi, tapi ada Business Economics, yang sama aja isinya. Tapi pas kuliah ada teman yang sangat baik yang ngebantuin saya ngerjain tugas Business Economics menganalisa 3 annual reports. I passed dengan nilai pas-pasan.

Lega. Dan saya berjanji tidak akan bertemu akuntansi lagi. Sampai bulan lalu. Seperti mantan yang gagal move on, akuntansi ini muncul lagi dalam hidupku. Sudah 1 bulan ini saya tidak tidur nyenyak, makan juga tak enak, dan kadang bisa stress. Gejalanya kayak orang jatuh cinta, but trust me, I am not falling in love with Accounting just yet.

So, what did I learn from this lesson?
1. Bila diminta untuk membantu, minta penjelasan detail apa job des Anda sebagai seorang 'pembantu'.
2. Buat yg masih kuliah/sekolah, bolos itu sangat tidak terpuji, apalagi kalo bolosnya ngga cuma sekali. Make sure kalo bolos jangan bareng-bareng 10 temen sekelas yang duduknya berdekatan (this will be discussed in another story)
3. Mencontek dan menyuruh orang lain mengerjakan tugas itu juga tidak terpuji, apalagi memanfaatkan cowok yg lagi PDKT untuk membantu mengerjakan tugas. Yeah I know, guilty!

The morale of this story adalah masalah sulit janganlah dihindari, tapi dihadapi. Jangan move on dari masalah sulit. Move on-nya dari mantan aja yah!

15 August 2013

Transition: Meet the Parents

In life, change is inevitable.

Kadang perubahan itu adalah sesuatu yang baik, tapi kadang kita berubah menjadi lebih negatif. Namun baik buruknya sebuah perubahan, itu sangat tergantung standard apa yang digunakan.

Perantauan saya ke negeri kincir angin membawa banyak sekali perubahan. Dalam hal kedisiplinan, pola pikir, makanan, gaya hidup, dan masih banyak lagi. Kadang perubahan ini bisa dinilai oleh 'orang timur' seperti Indonesia, sebagai suatu hal yang buruk.

Contohnya beberapa tahun lalu, setelah beberapa tahun tidak pulang kampung, saya pulang ke Indonesia. Hari Minggu, saya ikut ke gereja bersama kedua orang tua saya.

Selama di Belanda, saya ke sebuah gereja presbyterian yang open pada semua jenis kalangan dari latar belakang apapun. Sangat santai. Bahkan di musim panas, pendetanya pun akan berkhotbah dengan menggunakan polo shirt, celana pendek, dan sandal jepit. Worship leadernya bertato dan rambutnya gondrong!

So, kira-kira bisa bayangin kan, waktu saya di Indonesia lagi, diajak ke gereja di hari minggu pagi yang panas, saya pakai baju apa? Kalau Anda menebak saya pakai kaos tanpa lengan, celana pendek dan sandal jepit, yak, tebakan Anda benar!!

Of course mama saya freaked out, kaget anaknya berpakaian sangat minim dan sangat tidak sopan untuk ke gereja. Fyi, di Surabaya, gereja keluarga saya adalah gereja yang cenderung lebih formal.

Perubahan yang lain adalah kebebasan. Selama di Belanda, saya tinggal di sebuah apartemen dengan teman-teman dari Indonesia. Kalau saya mau pulang malam, atau bahkan tidak pulang pun, tidak akan ada yang nanyain. Paling-paling housemate saya kalo lagi iseng akan tanya, itupun kalau dia lagi di rumah.

Bayangkan kalau harus tinggal kembali bersama orang tua. Ada kejadian lucu lagi di tahun yang sama ketika saya pakai baju super santai ke gereja. Waktu itu saya masih pacaran sama Stefy, tapi sudah umur 21 gitu deh. Saya pergi ke mall, dan jam 10 malam, ada telpon masuk ke HP:

Mama: Kamu dimana?
Nia: Di mall.
Mama: Lho, kok belum pulang? Sama siapa?
Nia: *shock*
Mama: Sama siapa kamu? Dan jam berapa rencana pulang? Ini sudah malam lho!!
Nia: *shock sampai ngga bisa ngomomg*

Untung mama saya gaul, saya akhirnya bilang sama mama saya, kalau saya ini bukan anak SMA lagi. Mama sudah 'rela' dan percaya melepaskan saya di luar negeri selama 4 tahun. Masak pergi ke mall di Surabaya dan jam 10 malam belum pulang sudah ditanyain?

Menurut saya, the biggest shock buat kita yang pulang balik ke negeri sendiri setelah merantau adalah kehadiran orang tua dalam kehidupan kita.

Memang ada enaknya, ada yang masakin, ada yang bayarin (ngga perlu makan doner kebab tiap hari kalau lagi ngga punya duit!), ada yang care sama kita. Tapi ada juga sisi yang kurang enak. Kita mungkin akan merasa lebih dikontrol, kita merasa tidak bebas, dan adanya aturan-aturan rumah yang harus kita taati lagi.

Satu hal yang saya pelajari dari hal ini. Bukan hanya kita yang tidak biasa dengan kehadiran orang tua. Orang tua pun pasti merasa tidak biasa anaknya muncul lagi.

Kadang orang tua kita lupa bahwa kita sudah beberapa tahun pergi dari rumah. Ketika kita kembali, mereka memperlakukan kita dengan tetap memakai standard yang sama. Saya pergi ke Belanda waktu lulus SMA, empat tahun kemudian, saya kembali ke rumah, dan orang tua saya memperlakukan saya dengan cara yang sama seperti waktu saya masih SMA.

Jadi be kind to your parents ya.
Kalau emang udah ngga tahan tinggal di rumah bareng orang tua lagi, buruan nikah dan tinggal di rumah sendiri! HAHA. Eh tapi saya nikah beneran karena cinta kok, bukan karena pengen keluar dari rumah :)

Bagaimana dengan teman-teman perantauan yang sekarang kembali ke Indonesia? Any similarities?