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Aku ingin

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan kata yang tak sempat diucapkan
kayu kepada api yang menjadikannya abu

Aku ingin mencintaimu dengan sederhana
dengan isyarat yang tak sempat disampaikan
awan kepada hujan yang menjadikannya tiada

(Sapardi Djoko Damono)

***

S: iya aku mangkel emang
N: Sorry, hm,.. tapi aku ga tau harus sorry buat apa. Ya, sorry uda aneh-aneh lagi.
S: yeah, kamu ga salah emang, tapi...
N: Menurutmu, apa yang aku lakuin uda ngelewatin bates?
S: *mikir sambil ber-ehem2* ya ngga juga, tapi uda nyerempet-nyerempet. Tapi bukannya apa yang nyerempet-nyerempet itu malah yang bahaya? Aku dulu ya gitu,.. aku anggap diriku kuat. aku anggap diriku tahan godaan, tapi aku sempet hampir jatuh.
N: *speechless dan tertunduk* (kalo di komik-komik kepala saya sudah keluar airnya -tuing!-)
S: Dulu emang aku gitu, tapi ya sekarang aku mikir, aku uda umur 21. Aku uda harus mikir serius. Harus nahan mata, ngga bole seenak-enaknya nggodain cewek juga. Aku harus mikir dengan siapa aku mau married entar dan harus membangun hubungan yang benar.
N: *jrep!!* (kata-kata ini menusuk ke hati saya, sedalam-dalamnya. Do you think I am not serious??? Heheh,.. dari apa yang sudah terjadi, kayaknya kurang deh kadarnya ama keseriusan dia)

***

Yesterday, I and my housemates had the greatest hang out, ever!! Cool,.. I missed that kind of moment, especially during this time, dissertation time! We ended our day discussing about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (yang katanya Golda bukan nama pacarnya Tom cruise,.. hihihi :P) having a little baby girl. Trus, ceritanya kan Katie Holmes itu mengidolakan Bang Tom semenjak dia kecil. Bayangin,.. idola masa kecil,.. eh sekarang uda jadi pacar dan husband to-be. Huee,.. *plok-plok* keren donk!!!

Then I said,.. "Huaa,.. what if that happened to me?" Saya lagi membayangkan, cari-cari image muka celeb sapa yang kira-kira mungkin bisa jadi pasangan saya. Heath Ledger kah? Orlando Bloom kah? or Jacquin phoenix yang di Walk the line kah? or George Clooney? Ho,.. no no,.. uda ketuaan. Trus Dans bilang "Lho, drummer itu?" I was stunned. Lho kok jadi dia?

Jadi, nia ini lagi girang-girang akhir2 ini. Ceritanya gini, saya ini mengidolakan drummer-nya salah satu band kristen asal Indo, uda dari jaman2 SMP getu. Eh,.. usut punya usut,... drummernya ini, anggep aja namanya Niko, temennya Dans pas sekul di Indo duluuuu. Lho kok? kebetulan sekali. Waktu tau ini, saya langsung jerit-jerit, girang-girang, joged-joged,.. wee,.. idola kok ternyata temennya temen sendiri. Hiii,.. seru-seru!! Mana punya friendster laghe... seru seru,.. saya tetep bisa jadi secret admirer dia ini, walopun uda jadi friends dia di friendster (sapa juga yang kengangguran mau ngeliatin orang-orang satu-satu di friendster).

Ladalah,... Niko ini ternyata lagi iseng kali, saya di-message trus di-add di MSN. Wek? Kok? Saya jadi grogi,.. GR juga sih,.. seneng juga sih,.. hm,.. kok? Trus one day,.. which was like any other day, tiba-tiba *truing* (bunyinya orang manggil di MSN)
Niko: Hallo
Nia: *Golda golda,... dia manggil!!*

Bayangin gitu lho, idola kalian ternyata sekarang ada di depan mata (virtually), huu,.. senangnya bukan maen!!!

Saya senang, bisa ngobrol. Walaupun, Niko ternyata agak garing. *Hem,...* Taraf kegilaannya belum separah saya dan teman-teman pohon saya.

***

Sejak itu, saya jadi kepikiran. Jadi mikir, hihihi lucu juga ya si Niko ini. Eh,.. kok jadi mikirin dia ya? Then, tiba-tiba perasaan bersalah muncul. Sama-sama bunyinya kayak bunyi orang manggil di MSN - begitu tiba-tiba, tak diduga, tapi appealing banget, kerasa, kedengeran. Saya jadi mikirin Bang Stefy.

Nia A: Ho,.. ini selingkuh bukan ya?
Nia B: Hm,.. bukan yo!! jelas-jelas nothing physical happens.
Nia A: Tapi, kok saya jadi mikir Niko,.. kan ngga bole?
Nia B: Ah,.. kan cuma di MSN, di friendster getu lho! Loe ga bakal ketemu orangnya, orangnya ga bakal ketemu kamu,... dan asal Stefy ga tau, ngga problem!
Nia A: Tapi, kan boong?
Nia B: Lho,..emang kamu berbohong apa? Kan cuma ngga ngomong ama Stefy?
Nia A: Ah,.. salah ah! Jangan Ah!
Nia B: Ih,.. lucu-lucu aja lagi,... kan Niko idola kamu dr kecil,...

I went through this battle a couple times. I first thought that chatting with my idol would not do any harm. Hm,.. then in the end, which was actually this afternoon, I thought,.. no,.. i have to talk to Stefy. This is ain't healthy anymore.

***
SMS > Nieuw Bericht>

"Yang, lagi dimana? Bisa YM sekarang ngga?"

Nummer: +6281.... > Verzenden > Uw bericht is verzonden.

Nieuw Bericht: Stefy (*klik*)

"Aq ini lg di rmhnya tmnku, lg ambil kamera. Gmn kalo sktr 1 jam lg? Ato kalo ndak ntar km tak sms aja kalo aq dah plng. memang knp? Keliatannya koq penting bngt"

*dueng,.... bayangin, ini aku belum ngomong apa2 dia uda feeling ada sesuatu yang penting. Fewh,.. buset,.. !!*

***

Akhirnya terjadilah percakapan di atas.
Jujur, saya malu,... maluuuuu banget.
Dulu saya yang takut kalo Stefy ini kegenitan. Takut kalo dia itu kecantol cewe laen, atau cewek laen naksir dia. Maklum bapak Stefy ini termasuk orang yang pesonanya cukup besar.
Saya yang takut kalo dia selingkuh.
Dooohhh,.. kok saya yang sekarang jadi kegirangan gara-gara kenalan ama cowok yang ketemu aja ga pernah.
Nia, kamu kok gatel sih!!!

Ah yeah,.. ini pelajaran penting.
Dan once again, thank God that He taught me this lesson over and over again.
"Tuhan, Nia janji d ga nakal-nakal lagi ya! Ampun. Sorry"

***
Bang Stefy, Thanks, uda mo ngertiin saya.
Walaupun kalo saya di dekat anda tadi, pasti kerah baju saya uda ditarik, dan dicekik dan digoyang-goyangkan bahunya. Trus dijitak *dooong!!* Hum,... saya nakal ya? kok ya saya ngga kapok-kapok ya?
Maaf, ya, bang!
Thanks uda mo ingetin saya,... thanks dah mo ngomel2in saya. Saya ini bingung, kalo kamu uda ngomong panjang lebar kayak tadi, saya tuh kok diem-yem... ga berani ngelawan. Tapi emang saya salah.

Tadi pas selesai telpon, saya langsung keinget puisi favorit saya.
I dedicate it to you.

Image: gettyimages.com (white chocolate bar represents simplicity and purity of love)

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