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Dua Ribu Sembilan

Tahun ini diawali dengan beberapa hal yang membuat wajah Oma cemberut
Banyak hal yang membuat Oma lagi-lagi berpikir: "Where is God?"
Banyak hal yang membuat Oma merenung dan menangis: "What have I done wrong?"

Tahun ini diawali dengan penyesalan
air mata
ketakutan
kekecewaan
low self-esteem
even sebuah kemarahan,...
atau mungkin lebih tepatnya, sebuah tanda tanya besar yang tidak terjawab

Tahun ini kemudian dilanjutkan dengan sebuah kesadaran
bahwa everything will be okay
Cliche, I know
Tapi, withouth this hope, I can no longer survive
Dengan sebuah keyakinkan yang diajarkan my mom,
"with God, all things are possible"
Again, I have heard this verse over and over again
But, without this faith, I am void

Tahun ini diharapkan akan berlanjut dengan sebuah helaan nafas panjang
karena tanda tanya sudah terjawab
dan keyakinan yang diimani selama ini tidak sia-sia
harapan yang dinanti-nantikan selama 6 tahun ini belum pupus
dan menggores sebuah senyum lagi.
Bukan senyum yang dibuat-buat
yang palsu
Tapi yang tulus.

My new year resolution won't be to lose some pounds
or to do more sport (although I really am serious about to start cycling and jogging in the spring time)
or to eat healthy food (coz I am half-vegetarian already, tho I now can eat a little bit beef and duck meat)
but
my resolution is be strong and courageous
keep my faith
stand strong
and not to lose my religion


Once again, have a happy new year

Pray for me, would 'ya?

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