Skip to main content

Dua Ribu Sembilan

Tahun ini diawali dengan beberapa hal yang membuat wajah Oma cemberut
Banyak hal yang membuat Oma lagi-lagi berpikir: "Where is God?"
Banyak hal yang membuat Oma merenung dan menangis: "What have I done wrong?"

Tahun ini diawali dengan penyesalan
air mata
ketakutan
kekecewaan
low self-esteem
even sebuah kemarahan,...
atau mungkin lebih tepatnya, sebuah tanda tanya besar yang tidak terjawab

Tahun ini kemudian dilanjutkan dengan sebuah kesadaran
bahwa everything will be okay
Cliche, I know
Tapi, withouth this hope, I can no longer survive
Dengan sebuah keyakinkan yang diajarkan my mom,
"with God, all things are possible"
Again, I have heard this verse over and over again
But, without this faith, I am void

Tahun ini diharapkan akan berlanjut dengan sebuah helaan nafas panjang
karena tanda tanya sudah terjawab
dan keyakinan yang diimani selama ini tidak sia-sia
harapan yang dinanti-nantikan selama 6 tahun ini belum pupus
dan menggores sebuah senyum lagi.
Bukan senyum yang dibuat-buat
yang palsu
Tapi yang tulus.

My new year resolution won't be to lose some pounds
or to do more sport (although I really am serious about to start cycling and jogging in the spring time)
or to eat healthy food (coz I am half-vegetarian already, tho I now can eat a little bit beef and duck meat)
but
my resolution is be strong and courageous
keep my faith
stand strong
and not to lose my religion


Once again, have a happy new year

Pray for me, would 'ya?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What would you do if you could live another life

What would you do if you could live another life just for one day? This line is quoted from "Last Chance Harvey" . I have watched this film twice and still feel so touched everytime I watch it. Kate Walker, the main character in this film, uttered this question to Harvey Shine. In this story, both of them lived a life that is not very happy-chappy. Kate lived in a pathetic, boring life; Harvey in a screwed one. When Kate asked this question, both of them seem to ponder: what if I could live a different life, just for one day, just to try out. This question makes me ponder, too: what would I do if I was given a chance to live any kind of life I want, just for one day? Where would I be? What would I do? Who would I be? Lately I have been thinking about the life I am living right now. Everything is so well-planned. I graduated from high school, went abroad to study, came back home to work, went abroad again to do my master, working in a reasonably good organisation, and going ho...

The unexpected wedding

Almost every girl has ever dreamt of her wedding day – what she would wear, who would come, who the prince charming is. I would say, every girl must have a certain expectation and standard when it comes to a wedding: it could be grand, small celebration, family only, destination wedding – you name it. My dream wedding happens to me a small, close friends and family only wedding. If you grew up in the 90s, you would know a boy band called 98 degree. They had a song titled ‘I do’. If you search on YouTube, you will find the video clip, which shows a beautiful wedding ceremony. That’s my dream wedding! My whole life, I was picturing that. Twelve years ago, I started dating this guy, who is now my husband. His family background is very different than mine. Among other things – which we thankfully have tolerated and worked on – the way to throw a wedding party is totally different. His dream wedding party is ‘tell the world I am getting married’-kind of party. Yes, he wanted grand...

Cold Feet

One of my closest friends is getting married tomorrow another one in May another one in November. and an ex-classmate is also getting married in April/May. and, I dreamed about getting married last night. I remember some months ago I was so enthusiastic with the idea of getting married. Although I knew that our relationship was not yet ready for that stage, I was so pushy to Stefy. I had asked him when exactly we would get married. Ah well, it was all the flashy things that I longed for. Right now, what I want is to avoid it! I am just not brave enough to throw myself into this new status. Don't get me wrong, I am probably just like any other girls out there who like the beautiful wedding gown, like to be made up, like to be the queen of the night. But, have you ever considered what would happen after you wave off the guests and head to your own home, starting your new chapter of life? or what would happen after the happy chappy honeymoon? Would we then live...