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When I'm 64

When I get older losing my hair,
Many years from now.
Will you still be sending me a valentine
Birthday greetings bottle of wine.


All of Beatles fans must know this song by heart. Not as much as I love this song, I hesitate to think of what I would be when I'm 64. Never have I ever felt afraid growing old, yet don't you ever ask yourself how you would be when you are 60+?

Would I be very dependant? Would I be a whinning, old grandma that your grandkids hate? Would I be useless or paralyzed? Would I be a fat, weak old lady? In fact, would I still be loved?

Would I still know and feel love?

This improper thought had been creeping to the surface due to the facts that my boyfriends' family (mostly the female ones) are getting old but still look fabulous: slim figure, shinny appearances, and fit! You must have seend Sex and the City right? You can see some similarities in my relative-in-laws. The pressure definitely exists!

Some years ago, when I met my boyfriend's relative for the first time, the first question she asked me NOT what kind of work I do, or what are my hobbies; she asked this exact following question: how much do you weigh? I was speechless for some split seconds. When I got my courage back, the question I asked was this: which weight? body weight?

Some days ago, this question was again thrown to my face; this time by my mother-in-law to be.

Sigh,...

I wouldn't worry too much if my boyfriend was different. My boyfriend is also very concern with his weight, body, and physical beauty. Not that he is a metrosexual (I would have left him a looong time ago if he was a metrosexual kinda man :p), yet, he lives healthily and dress properly. While some women might be crying to have this kinda man, I would say that I feel quite worried.

I am worried that one day I would not be pretty enough that I could make him proud of me. I am worried that one day I gain some kilos that would make him quite embarassed to stand next to me. I am afraid that one day I have some disabilities that could make him feel frustrated (if you live in the Netherlands, you should watch the trailer of "komt een vrouw bij de Dokter". This might give you some ideas about what I feel). The bottomline, I am afraid that one day he wouldn't love me enough that I would feel unloved.

I hope you would tell me that my thought are so very unreasonable that I should stop thinking about them; and start thinking about something else - like job hunting :P

Comments

wah..berat juga ya nia..I can understand you... tp dont worry..you are such an amazing, beautiful young woman... so for now, nothing to worry about...

tp emang later we have to put effort kalo mo stay young and slim..aku jg takut ni...mama e nic jg kurus dan masi funkehh..xD aku jg takut nti kalo dah pny anak jd ndut pie y..hihihi... mana ak jrg exercise lg.. :(

but for now.seize the day!!!

btw.. bagus kalo bang tepi peduli penampilan..it means that kalo km shopping plg ga di dukung ama dia... :)
Dina said…
wanita... worrying too much! hahhaa... no need to worry, nyokap lu skrg kaya' gmana sijh? nah... kaya' gitu juga nanti kalo kamu 'older', hehehe... *duh, smoga gak jauh beda dari kamu yang sekarang, hihihi...*
Oma Nia said…
@Dita: wakakaka, same problem ternyata. iyo, aku ga ada dana buat exercise dit. giling, sekali ngegym berapa coba! edan. aku kalo summer tok jogging, kalo uda winter gini, SEHARUSNYA berenang, heheheh, tapi kadang keluar rumah kena angin sepoi2 belanda, uda males duluan. hehehhe

@Dina: That's EXACTLY why I worry :( my mon is like THIS BIG. Hm,... she is not slim, I would say. Mampus ga! Sedangkan nyokapnya stefy, ........ (baca: very tiny, saking tinynya kamu ga bisa baca :P)

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