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The Good Enough Guy: What are you looking for in a man?

A couple of days ago I read this article from the Jakarta Globe that struck me to write this post. And the term “good enough guy” makes me consider what kind of guy I am dating at this moment.

‘Good enough’ does not really seem good enough. This term sounds a little bit negative, because imho, good enough is not enough. For some women, a man must possess certain degree, position, or title. For others, a man must heritage family business, including the money, position and privilege. For a few others, a man must have excellent personality that will indicate that this man will not beat his wife nor lock her in the mansion to do nothing but being a good house-wife.

So, is it acceptable to simply look for a ‘good enough’ guy? Or in my case, is it okay to date a ‘good enough’ guy? Or should I look for the best guy to replace my current one?

This article states that often we have been too picky about the trivial things and not picky enough about the important ones – which is entirely true! Some time ago, I was indeed reconsidering my relationship: how my partner was not mature, how he should start being independent, how he was not very attentive and caring, how he should a little bit more jealous, and according to my mom, how my partner should have vision in life because at that time he was clueless about what he wanted in life.

So, there was this moment when I wanted a better guy. But, indeed, I failed to see the important attributes that he has alread have. He was very patient, very kind, very supportive, forgiving, cheerful, funny, hard-working attitude, and other things. I almost lost my partner because my failure to acknowledge the important ones that he already possessed.

In short, quoting from this article, “a guy is a package deal, as is any woman. Many women throw out the guy because they don’t like a part of the deal, even if it’s a pretty appealing deal overall.

If you are now at the stage where you reconsidering your relationship, your partner in particular, do not only consider the trivial attributes, like money, appearances, or status – yet look a bit deeper. Do consider his vision in life, his dream, your shared interests, what you both want in life, or how you could complement each other.

This tips also works for you who are still searching for Mr or Miss Right. The old say “don’t (only) judge the book by its cover” is really applicable for this case.

At least, this is what this article was saying, and what I have learned from my Mom, a relationship/family/marriage consultant.


Finding or dating “good enough guy” is not pathetic – it is maturity.

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