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O Maaaaaaaaaaggg

Ayo, anak-anak, siapa yang tahu apa itu sakit maag?
Kalo bisa jawab, Oma kasih hadiah lhoo,…


*sok jadi guru*

Sesuai janji, Oma harus cerita tentang penyakit Oma yang bikin Oma stress ndak karuan. Nama penyakitnya M-A-A-G. Anda pernah mendengarnya? Tentu pernah! :)

Sebenarnya Oma tidak menyangka bakal terserah penyakit yang notabene bisa melumpukan korbannya, sampai tak berdaya. Because, Oma tidak merasa sakit perut yang berlebihan, atau nyeri di lambung yang membuat Oma menangis.


Awalnya hanya mual-mual, ndak bisa makan, mulut rasanya aseeem banget, trus suka gelegeken (baca: bersendawa) dan ngga enaaak banget. Itulah awalnya!

Awalnya lagi, sebelum kejadian mual dan ndak bisa makan ini, Oma pergi makan siang di sebuah resto Thailand favorit di Surabaya. Hari itu, hari Rabu dan kami baru berangkat makan siang pukul 1.30 (= telat makan!). Sesampainya di sana, langsung pesan ini itu dan kira-kira jam 2-an Oma baru makan siang.

Tahu menu pesanan Oma?? (please don’t hit me ya)
1. Nasi goreng nanas (extra cabe)
2. Ikan masak asam manis
3. Kangkung goreng dengan saus pedas

Makan siang ini sekaligus meeting. Karena meeting belum kelar, alhasil kami lanjut di lobby hotel di sebelah gedung kantor tempat Oma bekerja. Dan coba tebak apa yang Oma pesan: secangkir besar Cappucinno pahit.

Sepulang dari lobby itu, Oma uda mulai kerasa ga enak. Perut penuh dan mulut asem. Pulangnyaaa,.. Oma ikutan nemenin Bang Tepy makan di Sushi Tei: Inari sushi with lots of wasabi.

*please, please,… don’t kill me!*

Kembali ke waktu setelah kejadian ini, malamnya Oma langsung ngerasa ZUPER ga enak. Lambung ga enak, perut penuh, mau muntah. Trus badan panas dingin. NDAK BISA TIDUR. Ini benar-benar NDAK BISA TIDUR. Jadi, Oma bisa mendengar setiap detik waktu, mulai pukul 11:00 sampai 05:00 pagi. Bayangkan,…..!!!!

Sangat menyiksa.

Itulah kejadian yang paling parah. Tapi,… dasar Oma bebal dan takut dokter, Oma pun menolak ke dokter, dengan alasan, “udah feel better!”

Tapi,… 2 minggu yang lalu, hari itu hari Minggu, Oma ke toilet, dan,…….. pup (sorry) Oma berdarah-darah!!!

HOAAAAAAAAA!!!

Dan langsung besoknya nama Oma terdaftar di buku pasien Dokter Bowo. Ternyata, Oma terkena MAAG KRONIS. Begitu dokter memegang lambung Oma, beliau langsung berteriak “aduh,.. ini suka makan pedas pasti ya!

Aniwe, busway, sekarang Oma dalam tahap penyiksaan (baca: terapi penyembuhan), karena Oma tidak boleh mengkonsumsi makanan sbb:

- Makanan Pedas
- Makanan Kecut
- KOPI (oh my God!!!)
- TEH (apapun jenisnya)
- Permen mint (pedas)
- Makanan bersantan
- Soft drink


Yeah yeah,… you should feel sorry for me. Karena hampir semua makanan yang tertulis di atas adalah favorit Oma. Ketika dokter melarang Oma makan makanan di atas, muka Oma benar-benar memelas, meminta belas kasih beliau untuk mengijinkan, AT LEAST, minum kopi.

Tapi gelengan keras terlihat di wajahnya.

Fewh,..

Yeah,.. sekarang kalian bisa memanggil Oma dengan nama: O Maaag


Aniwe, ada yang bilang sakit maag disebabkan oleh stress. Percaya? Hm,... no comment deh dari Oma!

Comments

Unknown said…
NIA BANDEL!!! *jewer*
Anonymous said…
is that ur real stomach? :|
Oma Nia said…
@iphien: hahahha,.. no lah,... mosok full lemak gitu? perut eke singset, bow! :P

@ulm: iyo :( stefy yo marah2. skrng dia bilang "rasain, gara2 senang2 sekarang kamu menderita seumur hidup!" :( kalo dipikir2 emang iya ya. fewh,... no more "coffee a day keeps the doctor away." yang ada "coffee a day keeps the doctor even closer." :P
Unknown said…
asal dokternya cute :p
Oma Nia said…
nggak, blas! uda tuir :(

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