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Showing My True Color

Pernah hidup di dua benua yang berbeda, di tiga negara yang berbeda, lebih dari 5 kota yang berbeda membuat Oma menjadi orang yang memiliki mixed identity, campur bawur. Bukan identitas orang Indonesia tok! Bukan identitas orang Eropa tok! Tapi mixed!

Eiitss, tapi Oma menolak dibilang memiliki identitas bunglon, karena Oma berusaha untuk menjadi ‘who I really am’, ndak pretending, ndak munafik.

Di Indonesia, Oma selalu dibilang ‘orang bule’, karena kebiasaan, sifat dan pola pikir yang sudah tidak lagi cocok dengan orang Indonesia (menurut beberapa orang). Let’s say my parents. In the beginning, ketika Oma kembali tinggal di rumah, Oma merasa mereka overreacted: nanya pergi kemana, jam berapa, sama siapa; nanya pulang berapa, diantar siapa, kenapa pulang telat; dan nanyain hal-hal kecil-kecil yang ngga penting lainnya.

Coba bandingkan dengan kehidupan Oma di Belanda, yang sebodo amat mo pulang jam berapa, pergi sama siapa, naik apa. Mo ngga pulang, pulang pagi, pulang mabok pun ngga ada yang ngomelin! (Anyway, sudah ndak pernah lagi pulang mabok, cuma sekali dan terakhir kali terjadi di Exeter, UK. Not again! Pusing! Mana pulangnya harus jalan kaki deh waktu itu. Fool me!)

Trus, di Indo, khususnya di Surabaya, orang-orang terlalu pusing dengan apa yang orang lain pikirkan. Mereka juga pusing untuk menjadi part of ‘a group’. The bottom line is, beberapa orang Indonesia takut untuk menjadi beda.

Nah, beda kan? Ya, itulah yang membuat Oma kadang-kadang dijulukin ‘bule’, karena hal-hal dan pola pikir yang berbeda.

Di Belanda, Oma belum bisa dibilang bule Belanda, karena baru saja, teman Oma yang sudah cukup lama tinggal di sini, bilang bahwa pola pikir Oma berbeda.

Susah juga ya.
Hidup di berbagai negara yang berbeda, dengan culture and behavior yang varied, yang in the of the day, whether we want it or not, shape, or at least, affect, us. Membuat kita menjadi seperti sekarang.

Bukan salah bunda mengandung, tapi mungkin memang Oma yang merasa harus show her true color, ndak bisa menjadi bunglon di setiap culture atau tempat yang berbeda.

Oma ya Oma. Oma di Indonesia, sama Oma di Belanda, sama Oma kalo di Inggris adalah Oma yang sama. Teman-teman yang mengenal Oma di Indo, Belanda atau Inggris akan memiliki, more or less, the same description tentang Oma.

Kenapa sih Oma nulis posting ini?

Hm,… Oma lagi capek. Lagi baru aja bertengkar ama beberapa teman Oma. It made me thinking: apa Oma yang aneh? Apa memang Oma yang ndak lagi cocok berteman dengan my fellow Indonesians? Apa Oma yang sudah berubah terlalu jauh sehingga ngga bisa mengerti pola pikir orang Indonesia? Atau Oma yang terlalu cynical?

Oma ndak tau. Yang pasti, Oma adalah Oma. Dan rasanya, lebih penting memiliki identitas sebagai Anak Tuhan atau Orang Kristen, ketimbang memiliki identitas duniawi yang membuat bingung. Karena sebagai Anak Tuhan dan Orang Kristen, kita pasti memiliki nilai-nilai positif, melakukan dan memikirkan hal-hal yang membangun dan positif.

Now, the question is, do I have that identity?

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